Dear Jo: Depth over Distance

For any kind of long distance relationship to work, you must embrace the concept of ‘separate but together.’

Dear Jo,

I am in a long distance relationship. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a long time (starting back in high school), and we are very happy. However, we go to colleges several hours away from each other. In fact, we are even in different time zones. We are not able to visit each other almost ever during the school year, and I know not seeing each other is a huge stress on our relationship. Any advice on long distance relationships and how to make them a little easier?

Thank you!

Depth over Distance

Dear Depth over Distance,

Relationships at this age are complicated enough with those immediately around us; but to love someone so far away is it’s own trial in and of itself. I admire and respect your commitment and will do my best to answer your question honestly.

I have been in pseudo-long distance relationships twice, one of them being my first boyfriend ever. And despite the breadth of the distance between us, the depth of understanding and connection we shared kept us together. Although it was long ago, there were things I learned to do differently, and that is what I will share with you.

Any kind of connection separated by time or space is necessarily bound to technology. For any kind of long distance relationship to work, you must embrace the concept of ‘separate but together.’ This means understanding and respecting the fact that your lives look very different from each other’s right now, but that you still have space in your heart to share that life with another. It’s a tricky tightrope to walk; and you will teeter and nearly fall either direction, a time or two, before you learn the perfect balance.

To read the rest of this column, visit here. 

And friends, this column was conceived of by people like you, asking questions of people like me.

To submit a question for consideration, visit here.

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